So, I am starting to worry whether I am underestimating being a Dad, certainly in the early stages.
I’m not talking about the practical side like changing nappies or the sleep deprivation, but the deep down feelings and instincts that drive being a Dad, and hopefully a good one.
At The Baby Show (which there will be a post for, I promise) there was a product called the ‘DadPad‘ which is essentially like a bound booklet, developed with the NHS, that has a lot of info about being a new parent, how to look after yourself and your partner and supposedly to give confidence etc.
It’s just the way it promotes the benefits as ‘reducing anxiety’, ‘creating strong bonds’, ‘building stronger family relationships’ and ‘dealing with post-natal depression’… All the positive stuff, huh?
Do I really need a booklet to tell me how to create a bond? I get that the motherly bond is invariably going to be stronger when you have a little person feeding from you, typically spending a lot more time together, and generally being more emotionally open but is the fatherly aspect really that difficult?
Now I do know dads who have struggled and I know dads who have taken to it like a duck to water and it made me start thinking as to perhaps what the differences were and which way might I fall, regardless of what I want to happen. That scares me. It scares me to think that I might not be the daddy that I want to be, that I have always believed I would be. It also scares me to think that perhaps with all these new emotions, stresses and strains that will be around, that I wont be the husband I would want me to be and perhaps Laura will need me to be. I know I have touched upon this before but seeing that book really made me think more about it.
I wont know the answer until the days come in 4 months time. I just hope when they do, I am a duck.